Author's note: As I said in the author notes for "Two Become One", the series was born when I began babysitting for new clients last year. The daughters had mother Melissa's red hair and father Brian's brown eyes--and, IMO, looked like how I had mentally pictured daughters of J/C. So this one is partially dedicated to little Kearstin G. Hugs, Kearst! Love ya! :) Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, Paramount owns it all. Baby Kearstin is my own character. Can't have her, Braga, so take a hike! Not that you'd ever get *that* much of a clue anyhow. :) Rating: PG Dedication: To Kadith (dragon-face). If nothing else, I can get ya to shut up. ;-) A Miracle Called Kearstin by Cheile Kathryn looked out the viewport of her quarters. Ordinarily, she wouldn't have been this content, especially these past couple weeks. But right now, Voyager's captain was as content as an eight months-pregnant woman could be, while receiving a gentle backrub from her husband. She sighed softly. "Chakotay, you're so good at this." Chakotay paused and pulled her closer. "You remember what I told you three years ago back on New Earth?" "Oh, right. You were the only one who could give your mother a proper neck rub." Kathryn smiled. "She's a very lucky woman. As am I," she finished softly. "No more luckier than I." She leaned her head back against his shoulder. He turned her face to his for a kiss, then rested his hand against her swollen belly. The baby kicked a "hello". "Hello, my girl," he replied softly. Kathryn shook her head. "I know it was my idea to wait till the birth to find out, but if this baby comes out a boy, I am going to laugh." He chuckled at that, then rubbed her belly lightly. "Don't ask me why, but I just have this gut feeling that it's a girl." "You know, I can't believe that we haven't even chose a name for the baby yet." "Hmm. it's a hard decision." "If it does happen to be a boy, we should name him after your father." Chakotay tightened his hug. "If he were still alive, he'd be honored, Kathryn." She kissed his cheek lightly. "Well, now that we've settled that side, we should decide on a girl's name in case your gut instinct turns out to be right." "Hmm. . .I don't know--there are so many good names." "True. How about Emily? Or Kelly?" "Too simple. What about Lorrie?" "Possibility--Cheryl?" "Nah. We could give her your mother's name." "Nah--but we could use Gretchen for a middle name. Anneke? Amy?" "Mmm--maybe. Colleen?" "Definite maybe. Louisa? Marcy?" "Those aren't bad. Venetia?" "That's pretty. August?" "August is a month, Kathryn." "It's a name, too. I had an Academy roommate named August." "All right--add that to the maybe list. Cassie? Jenneka?" "Those are pretty good. Ronda?" "Another good maybe. Carolyn?" "Not bad. Ute--it's German for Audrey." "Pretty. Lor? Gina?" "Good maybes. Kadith?" "Kathryn, what kind of name is *Kadith*?" * (Three weeks later) Kathryn sighed and pushed herself up. This was ridiculous. She couldn't relax at all. The Doctor had taken her off even light duty status at seven months, declaring the bridge too dangerous for a pregnant woman to be. Chakotay was in engineering, helping B'Elanna go over something. She didn't want to read; she couldn't sleep. She was bored out of her mind. "Tuvok to Janeway." *Finally!* "Yes, Tuvok?" "I have completed the report you requested. Would you like me to send it down to you with Ensign Chapman?" She was about to say that that would be fine when it hit her. Exercise--that's what she could do. And it would kill a little time, at least. "No, Tuvok. I'll be up to get it in a few minutes." "Captain, did the Doctor not advise you to stay off the bridge due to--" "I'm coming up to get a *report*, Tuvok, not come on duty. What the Doctor doesn't know won't hurt him. Be there soon. Janeway out." Finding her shoes, Kathryn headed out the door. It was different, heading for the bridge wearing a soft blue and yellow dress and slip-on sandals, her hair in a loose braid, rather than her uniform and a neater hairstyle. But then she *was* eight months, three weeks pregnant. Smiling to herself, Kathryn stepped into the lift. "Bridge." Two minutes later, the doors opened on the bridge. She stepped out, gazing longingly at her chair, which was occupied by Tuvok. "Captain on the bridge," someone said. "At ease, everyone. I'm only here for a few minutes." She looked around, from Harry to Ayala to Chapman, Leiderman, Tom--in Chakotay's chair, Anna Baytart at the helm--and lastly the newly married Samantha Wildman. Only now it was Samantha Carey; her and Joe's wedding had been a month ago. Kathryn crossed the few steps to the rail separating the upper and lower levels. Tuvok rose and turned to hand her the padd. "How are you feeling, Captain?" "Just fine." Kathryn gave him a smile and turned back around to board the lift. The doors had barely begun to close when a sharp pain seared through her abdomen that made her knees buckle. It was followed immediately by another that brought forth a cry of pain from her. Ayala was the first to hear it, and being closest, he moved from his station quickly to Kathryn's side. Tuvok tapped his badge. "Bridge to Commander Chakotay." "Chakotay here." "Commander, I believe the Captain is in labor." "Oh, my God--" "Go, Chakotay," came B'Elanna's voice form the background. "Computer, site to site transport to Sickbay," Ayala ordered. He and Kathryn disappeared. Samantha, after getting permission from Tuvok, quickly followed, taking the lift. Chakotay reached sickbay five minutes later, a minute or so behind Samantha. The Doctor was already gathering what he would need; Samantha had gotten Kathryn to lay down and had covered her with a sheet. "Chakotay," she cried upon seeing him. He took her hand and leaned down to tenderly kiss her. "I'm here, my love." And those were the last words between them for awhile. Chakotay talked--encouraging her, counting out her breathing, while Kathryn gasped, moaned and cried out in pain while attempting to push. At one point, Chakotay glanced at the chrono on a console and saw that ten hours had passed. *Already?* he thought. Then he was jerked abruptly back to reality when Kathryn's grip nearly crushed his fingers. "How much longer?" she moaned at one point. "I don't know how much more I can take!" "It is not unusual for first labors to be long," the Doctor said. "Or the little Maquis is just being stubborn and just doesn't want to come out." "Doctor." "Yes?" If looks could kill, the Doctor's program would have disintegrated in half a nanosecond. "Shut the hell up." The Doctor merely raised an eyebrow and continued his scanning. "Another one is coming, Captain--the transition is beginning," the Doctor said some seven hours later. "Oooh--ooh--aah! Damn it," she moaned. "You're doing great, Kathryn," Chakotay encouraged. "It's almost over." "This is all your fault!" she screamed at him. Eyes widening, Chakotay backed up a step. "Commander, don't worry. The pain is making her talk this way." "Stuff it, you egotistical hologram!" The Doctor rolled his eyes in a "God, spare me" manner and ignored her ranting, while Chakotay continued to give encouragement, occasionally ducking a swing of her fist, the swings becoming weaker as the labor progressed into ship's night. Finally, at 0212, Kathryn screamed one last time, which was immediately followed by the indignant scream of a newborn who very much resented being pushed from a warm, dark haven into a bright, cold place where the first thing she saw was a giant figure in blue and black. "It's a girl!" the Doctor said, his "Thank God" look fading into a congratulatory smile. Chakotay embraced the exhausted Kathryn, tears stinging his eyes. "My love, my Kathryn, you've given me a little girl." "I guess you were right after all," Kathryn murmured with a smile. He chuckled softly at that, and kissed her tenderly. The moment was interrupted when Samantha brought over a blanket-wrapped bundle. "The Doctor scanned her and says she's perfectly healthy. I cleaned her up and you can see her for a bit before you rest, Captain." Chakotay helped Kathryn to sit up, then Samantha handed her the bundle. *My baby,* Kathryn thought joyfully. *Our baby.* She was an exquisite newborn. Her tiny face peeked out from the pale cream blanket Samantha had wrapped her in, her eyes closed. She had a light layer of dark strawberry-blond hair, soft reddish-blond eyelashes and brows, her father's high cheekbones, a tiny pert nose, and rosebud lips. Kathryn gently stroked the baby's cheek with a fingertip. She stirred and her eyelids fluttered upward, revealing dark brown, nearly black, eyes. Her father's eyes. "Oh Chakotay, she has your eyes!" Chakotay smiled with pride and reached out to touch his daughter's cheek. A tiny hand made its way out of the blanket and a diminutive fist wrapped around Chakotay's finger. "So what will you name her?" the Doctor asked. Kathryn and Chakotay looked at each other. "You know, we never did decide," Kathryn said. "Maybe we should name her Kadith," Chakotay added, a twinkle in his eye. The baby fussed and Kathryn rocked her a little. "Shh, little one." She began to hum the song her mother had sung to her when she was little. What had been the original name used in the song? A fragment of memory reasserted itself. . . . *"Kearstin kleine, ging allein. . . ."* "That's what we'll name you," she said aloud. "What?" Chakotay asked. "Kearstin. Kearstin Nichole Gretchen." "It's beautiful," Samantha said. As the Doctor started to make the official log entry, Kathryn turned back to her daughter, who had closed her little eyes again. "Welcome to Voyager, my little Kearstin." ** (Two weeks later) As Voyager flew silently towards home at Warp 5, her captain sat in a rocking chair in her quarters, nursing her baby girl. Kathryn looked down at Kearstin, smiling softly. Kearstin raised big brown eyes to her mother's face, still sucking contently, one tiny fist resting against the rise of Kathryn's breast. "You two make such a beautiful picture." Kathryn turned her smile upon Chakotay, who was dressed and ready for duty. She eyed him with envy. "Another two months and I'll be able to see my ready room again!" He laughed. "But I'm the jealous one. You get to spend all your time with Kearstin." "When she gets a little older, I'll bring her up to the bridge for 'Daddy visits'." He grinned. "Sounds good. Well, I must be off. This old bucket of bolts needs its temporary captain on the bridge." "Watch your mouth, Commander," she said, before their lips met. They separated a minute later, and she threw him a sly look. "I may be a nursing mother, but this 'bucket of bolts' is still *my* starship--and don't you forget it either." "Aye, Captain," he replied with a devilish grin. He kissed her forehead, then bent his head to kiss the top of Kearstin's head. "Good-bye, my girl. I'll see you both later." Chakotay left; she watched him go, smiling. * (Three weeks later) Kathryn awoke at 0700 to see Chakotay carrying in Kearstin. "Guess who's hungry?" She rubbed her eyes and sat up slightly, pushing down one side of her nightgown before taking Kearstin in her arms. "I'm glad it's my day off." Chakotay slipped back under the covers, moving Kathryn closer to him, one arm around her shoulders, the other he rested across her waist, occasionally reaching up his hand to lightly stroke the reddish down on Kearstin's head or run a fingertip along her little arm. After Kearstin had her fill, she sighed softly. Kathryn burped her, then passed her to Chakotay. To their surprise, a gleeful smile lit up her baby face. "She smiled!" He grinned at her. "She already smiled at me when I went over to get her, but I wanted to surprise you." She smiled at him, then down at Kearstin, who smiled back, reaching over a hand to touch her mommy's cheek. ** (Four months later) Back on the bridge at last! Kathryn stepped out of the lift in full uniform, her hair pulled into a French braid. It almost felt like coming home. "Captain on the bridge," Tuvok said. She smiled at them. "At ease, everyone." She looked around at each of them before moving to her chair. Chakotay rose and gestured to it. "It's all yours again, Kathryn." She bestowed her brightest smile upon him, then took her chair. "Warp 7, Tom." Paris nodded and made the course adjustment. Sighing inwardly in content, she sat back. Chakotay's fingers brushed hers briefly as he passed her a padd. She cast him a sly wink, which he returned. The rest of the day was more or less uneventful. Kathryn spent most of the afternoon in the ready room, reviewing reports. Jenny Delany brought Kearstin to her at 1300, so she could nurse. It was comforting to hold her daughter while scanning the reports. It almost made it bearable. When Kearstin grew tired of being held, Kathryn set her in the playpen that was now by her desk. So while her mother finished her work, the little one lay on her side, chewing on the arm of the stuffed tiger Tom had given her. Kathryn had just finished the third stack when the door chime beeped. "Come in." Tuvok stepped through the doors. "Here is the report you asked for on the shields and deflector." He handed her the padd, then stopped and inclined his head to look beyond her desk. His eyebrow went up slightly. "Don't worry, Tuvok. The computer has a setup I had B'Elanna create. If the ship goes to red alert or I give the command, it will initiate a site to site transport from here to the nursery." "Very well, Captain. It is your decision." His gaze flickered back to Kearstin, who batted her little eyelashes at him. "Fascinating," he muttered to himself before departing. Kathryn could barely contain her laughter. Glancing at her chrono, she saw that it was 1730. Her shift was over. Rising, she stretched and moved to pick up Kearstin just as the door chimed again. Chakotay stepped inside, greeting her with one of his gentle smiles. "I've come to escort two lovely ladies home." "Scoundrel," she teased, kissing his cheek. "We accept." Wrapping Kearstin in her soft green blanket, she carried the drowsy baby and her tiger "home." * (Three weeks later) "Kearstin, slow down!" From the doorway, Chakotay watched with a grin as Kathryn picked up Kearstin, gently rubbing her little knees. After a few minutes, Kearstin squirmed and Kathryn set her down. Almost immediately, she took off again. Having recently acquired the skill of crawling, five-month-old Kearstin was quite content with this form of movement and would go happily zooming about as fast as her little hands and knees could take her--much to the dismay of her mama, who feared that her baby would soon acquire rug burns from the thin steel-blue rugs that Starfleet had decided was just perfect for carpeting its starships' floors. The door chime rang. Kathryn grumbled something about her hair and asked Chakotay to get the door before disappearing into the bathroom. "Come in." The doors parted to reveal Tom Paris. Upon seeing him, Kearstin let out a squeal of glee and started crawling in his direction. "Well, someone's happy to see me," he grinned. "Whoa, my girl," Chakotay said, lifting Kearstin up. She gave him a drooling kiss on the cheek, then he passed her to Tom. "Hiya, sweetie." Kathryn emerged from the bathroom, her hair fixed. She greeted Tom, gave him the instructions, promised they'd be back by 2330, kissed Kearstin and then they left for the holodeck. "Well sweetie, guess it's just us till B'Elanna gets off in an hour, huh?" "Ba-ba-nee," Kearstin answered, blowing him a raspberry. He laughed. "Yes, ma'am." 90 minutes later, B'Elanna entered the captain and Chakotay's quarters to find Tom sitting in the viewport seat, Kearstin resting against his chest as he talked to her. "She looks bored," B'Elanna quipped in lieu of a hello. "Maybe you should quit, Tom." "And hello to you too, my love." They exchanged a kiss and she sat down beside him. About ten minutes later, Kearstin began fussing. "Guess someone's hungry." Passing the baby to his wife, he went to the replicator. "Computer, one bottle of baby supplement beta 47." When the bottle materialized, he handed it to B'Elanna. "I'll let you feed her. She's probably sick of looking at me by now." B'Elanna shook her head at him and moved into the nursery room, sitting down in the rocking chair that Kathryn always used. "I'll be in the front room, working on my conn report if you need me." She nodded. Fifteen minutes later, Kearstin finished eating and her eyelids were starting to flutter. After burping her, B'Elanna carried Kearstin over to her crib and lay her down, drawing the blanket up to her waist. Bending down, she picked up the stuffed tiger and set it beside Kearstin. One small hand reached out to clutch a striped ear before her eyes closed. B'Elanna watched the baby for several moments. She was indeed an adorable child, with a light reddish down for hair, the Captain's facial structure, but Chakotay's eyes and high cheekbones. Almost abruptly, a painful ache filled her. If it hadn't been for her miscarriage, she'd have had a baby of her own by now. She tried unsuccessfully to swallow the lump in her throat. *Why did my baby have to die?!* Turning away from the crib, she stumbled the few steps over to the window seat and slumped upon it, burying her face in her hands. Some 30 minutes later, Tom realized that it was awfully quiet in the other room. Deciding to investigate, he set down his padd and walked softly into the nursery. Kearstin was sound asleep, but B'Elanna was sitting by the viewport, her hands over her face, her slim form shaking. His heart broke at the sight. Quickly, he moved to her side and enveloped her in his arms. "Love, please don't cry." "It's not fair," she choked, pounding her fist against his chest. "I know, 'Lanna, I know," he soothed, stroking her hair. "It hurts me, too. But she just wasn't meant to be. We'll keep trying--I know we'll get our chance." She heaved a choked sigh and buried her face against his chest. He rocked her, whispering soft words of comfort until she had calmed down. "I love you," he murmured. "I love you, too," she said softly. Putting an arm around her, he led her into the front room, where they sat on the couch holding each other, till Kathryn and Chakotay returned. * (Two weeks later) "Come on, my girl. You can do it." Chakotay was kneeling beside Kearstin, who sat by the coffee table. She smiled at him, but didn't move. "You're not trying to get her to walk already, are you?" Kathryn emerged from the bedroom, fully dressed for duty except for her jacket, which hung over one arm, her coffee cup in the other. "Of course not. Just to stand." She shook her head. "She's only six months old. Give her time." Chakotay lifted Kearstin gently to her feet. "Now hold onto my hand." But Kearstin's legs didn't hold her up and she fell with a thump onto her rear. "Almost, sweetheart. Want to try again?" Kearstin gave her father an exasperated look that plainly said "*You* stand if you want--I'm perfectly happy with sitting, thank you." "Maybe another day." "Maybe." Chakotay rose to his feet. Kearstin held up her arms and he lifted her up. "I have to get to the bridge. See you later?" "Of course." She gave him a tender, lingering kiss, then kissed Kearstin before heading out the door. As she headed down the corridor, Kathryn smiled to herself. A year ago, she would have never thought this dream possible. But it had become reality. She had Chakotay; she had her daughter. Her life could not been more complete. What? You want more? There isn't anymore! *eg* Okay, okay--I'm kidding--put down that phaser rifle, Anneke!!!! Legal B.S. as always. Paramount owns it--I steal--uh, borrow it. Copyright 1998 by Cheile. Feedback is very welcome (hint, hint) at cheile@hotmail.com